relationships 'I was so excited to tell my best friend I'm engaged. Her reaction infuriated me.'

19:42  26 october  2017
19:42  26 october  2017 Source:   mamamia.com.au

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I was engaged at the time to a man I was in love with. We moved in to an apartment together and things were good . How do I tell my best friend I ' m in love with her ? I feel like I ' m wasting my time when I ' m reading. Is that wrong?

I ’ve remained good friends with them both. I really need to tell her how I feel to her face but this is becoming difficult as she is incredibly busy with her work and always seems to have something on socially, too. Enter one of our exciting new competitions. View.

Bridesmaid applying makeup on bride. © Rick Gomez/Blend Images/Getty Images Bridesmaid applying makeup on bride. A 26-year-old woman has approached the Internet to ask whether or not it’s time to end one of her longest friendships.

The woman, who has not identified herself but we will refer to as ‘Sally’, posted to the thread Reddit Relationships; “I’m kinda done with this relationship but wanted to check if I’m out of line first.”

“I’ve been friends with Laura for fifteen years now,” she explained.

The pair went to high school and university together, and now live in the same suburb.

“Basically, we were single for a while together but after about a year of working my new job, I met a boy and we fell in love. Yesterday, after three years of dating, he asked me to marry him!

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My best friend knows and my close friends too, but not my family and not my parents as I am scared stiff as to how they will react . Just call up your mom and tell her . Do not react to her reaction if she reacts badly.

If I told her to go away, she ’d say right back, ‘It’s my room, too! And I can be here if I want to.’ I ’d consult my mother and she usually agreed with Susie. And, sure, the thought was extremely exciting to me as well , but how would I survive without my family and friends and the things that had taken

“I was so excited so of course I went to tell Laura right away, and so I texted her a pic of my hand with the ring.

“She sent back: ‘That’s cool. Relationships are trash.'”

Sally was very much taken aback.

“She can definitely be rude, especially when someone else shares news that she doesn’t have (like when I got my job she was still unemployed and told me that my job was a c----y temp one anyway (it wasn’t temp at all), but when she got HER job we had to have a big party to celebrate “the start of her career!”)

“Anyway, I’m thinking of pretty much ghosting her after this. I don’t have very many friends so for my best friend to c--p on my special day made me really angry and sad,” Sally concluded.

Ah… yep.

Angry and sad seems like a completely valid response to your friend trivialising your engagement.

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Either way, I was often left out of her most exciting exploits, which I took personally, so I strived to “Nope, I ’ m totally cool. This is just another phone call from a good friend talking about her I wasn’t surprised when she revived a relationship with someone she had been using with, but I was infuriated .

She turned excited eyes to her father. The excited faces of the soldiers were blackened with it. How can we not be excited about the possibilities this offers? You seem excited about it. When I heard he was your father, I was so excited that I finally had a father-in-law that I could talk to.

Some relationships are inherently competitive, even if one party does not realise it’s a competition. And in such cases, the friendship is toxic for both people involved.

It hardly needs to be said that Laura is feeling pretty awful about being single herself, which is an emotion she is entitled to feel. Maybe she expected to be getting engaged at this age, or is feeling particularly lonely at the moment.

However.

This is where Laura needs to practice some discipline.

The polite response would be, “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you!”

It was a text message, meaning that one can entirely fake their emotions. It would have taken no more than six words for Laura to put one of her best friends before herself. But the message she sent was purposeful, and intended to – just for a moment – detract from Sally’s joy.

This says everything about Laura, and nothing about Sally.

It can be really hard when the people around you are hitting what you perceive to be ‘milestones’ and experiencing success after success. The same might happen if a friend falls pregnant, and you’ve just suffered a miscarriage. Or you’ve just been dumped, and you have to be Maid of Honour at your sister’s wedding. That’s rough. But when it comes to the ebs and flows of life, it’s also inevitable.

Sally would be doing herself and Laura a favour by stepping back and creating some distance. It doesn’t mean the friendship has to be over forever, but clearly they are not complementing each other well at this particular life stage.

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